you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
