I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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