Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
