I just threw up on my dentist
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
