I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
