I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
