She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
