What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.