Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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