yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
