oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
