yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
