is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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