U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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