I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We got so high we made milksteak
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
