I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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