Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
