I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
