Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
