Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
