yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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