Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize