Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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