Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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