I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize