Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No stitches, just platelets and will power
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
