I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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