I want to walk on stilts...naked
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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