yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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