You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
