So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
