Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize