What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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