Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
