you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we should paint friendship bongs
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