I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
