sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
