I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
