you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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