so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We need to rekindle our bromance
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
