I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
