My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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