honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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