i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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