there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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