I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
