You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
