why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
