TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i will never coherently bang her
pop tarts are not kleenex
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
