The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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