Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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