I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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