maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
