I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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