Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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