shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
