By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
