He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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