Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize