no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
sarcasm needs its own font
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
