He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
